Premarital Sex…Before and After Pt.1
Yesterday, I posted “Is Premarital Sex Okay?” I would encourage you to read that before reading this article. If you don’t read that article or just haven’t yet here is a spoiler alert…premarital sex is not okay. This article will discuss some ways we can deal with sexuality in a healthy way so that premarital sex doesn’t happen. In part 2 we will shift to helping people work through the guilt and pain of engaging in premarital sex.
As an engaged young adult I understand the struggle people face when it comes to sex. I know many people who learned first-hand how destructive premarital sex (PS) is. There are many things that we can do, as Christians, to keep ourselves from engaging in PS. Here is a non-exhaustive list:
1) Examine Your Heart
This is one of the toughest things to do. I understand my sin. I know how deep it dwells within me. Understanding the depth and power of sin is necessary for examination. If sin is no big deal then examination is moot. This examination is discussed all throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament David understood this principle when he wrote:
Examine me, O Lord, and test me!
Evaluate my inner thoughts and motives! -Psalm 26:2 NET
David is asking God to examine himself. This examination is not of his actions but his heart. When David asked God to examine him there is an unstated implication. David needed to be ready for the answer. Like David, when we engage in examination we need to be ready for the answer. That answer can be painful because the truth often hurts. Yet, examination is an essential aspect of living a proper Christian life. Paul says this in 2 Corinthians 13:5:
Put yourselves to the test to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize regarding yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you – unless, indeed, you fail the test! -NET
When we take Paul’s advice by examining ourselves we find out if we truly are in Christ or not. If you are in Christ then holiness will be important to you. If you have a passion for holiness then you need to surround yourself with people that can encourage you.
2) Get Encouraged
As Christians, we have access to some amazing recourses. One of the greatest recourses is each other. I have found that no matter what spot I’m in, or what I have done, there are people there to help me out. This is an asset that many people do not take advantage of. Many are afraid of building relationships or going to a church they have never been to before. I can fully understand that, but we should not use excuses when it comes to our spiritual well-being. Even in the early church we find that people struggled to participate in meeting together. This is shown in Hebrews 10:24-25:
And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and even more so because you see the day drawing near.-NET
This shows us that encouraging one another is important. For those inside the church body we need to be encouraging. This passage also has other implications. If you are not plugged into a church you are going against God’s plan for his people. If we have examined ourselves then this should be a natural result of that examination. Staying away from sin is difficult when connected to a body of believers but not being plugged into a group of Christ-centered people makes dealing with sin almost impossible. Get in a church that will surround you with love and spur you on to love and holiness. These people have been where you been. Some have failed; others have succeeded…listen and learn from them.
3) Flee From Sin
This last section is, as they say, where the rubber meets the road. Examination and encouragement are essential when battling sins like PS but those wont stop temptation from creeping up altogether. Temptation is all around us. Our culture is consumed with sin and our fleshly nature likes it. Redeemed people need to always be on the lookout for temptation, but we don’t need to simply be defensive, we can take the battle to temptation.
For people in relationships, such as myself, it is important to have discernment and foresight. We all know that being in a dark lit room with our significant other creates an atmosphere that is more inviting to sexual temptation than having the lights on. I am not saying that having the lights off is wrong, it isn’t, but it doesn’t aid in protecting from sexual sin. God gave us brains…use yours. That is one way that we can be offensive against temptation; eliminate the most risk you can.
Sometimes no matter what precautions one takes sin finds a way to tempt us. When this happens the Apostle Paul gives us a great reminder…RUN! 1 Corinthians 6:18a says:
Flee sexual immorality! -NET
When you have taken the precautions and have fought the temptation of sexual sin but the temptation is still lurking it is best to flee. Get out of there as fast as possible before you end up guilt ridden, filled with regret, and devastated.
Examine yourself, get encouraged, and flee from sin. That is what God calls us to do and we all would be better off taking his advice.
Thanks for reading.