Stand for Marriage: Divorce and Children
The other day I wrote about the rampant divorce rate in America. 50% of couples are getting divorced and that number is not much lower among those that call themselves Christians. That is an extremely saddening statistic but the wound of divorce doesn’t only limit itself to the couple…it effects the entire family. Children often get caught in the middle of divorces and the effects can be devastating. On the Deal With Divorce website they list many emotional wounds that can be inflicted on a child after a divorce. Here is what they list:
Insecure and afraid of the future
Fearful of being abandoned
Torn in two
These are just some of the emotions that children feel when their parents divorce and with a divorce rate of 50% there are a growing number of kids that struggle with these issues and the church should take note. We, as Christians, need to understand that many broken children are walking through our church doors every week. We need to show these kids love and acceptance. A love that can only come from God. An acceptance that they are not worthless because of their parents mistakes. These children are created in the image of God and it is our duty to show them that. But our responsibility does not stop there. We need to show couples how important the family unit is by living a life worthy of Jesus’ words in Matthew 19: 4-6:
Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. -ESV
The moment we forsake the words of Jesus is the moment we forsake our family. Jesus describes the intimate connection of marriage using the analogy of them becoming “one flesh“. Jesus also says that this God created bond should not be broken by any man. When this intimate bond is broken the parents assuredly feel the pain but the hurt doesn’t stop there. When Jesus’ words are not followed we hear children say things like this:
I most want my mum back and or everything to be OK.
I’m not sure who to go to now, when I want to talk about things.
It feels wrong when I’m having fun with dad and his new wife, when I think of Mum by herself.
I don’t know how marriage is supposed to work, but I know I grew up in a family where it didn’t.
I get close to someone, then the same thing happens. I’m scared to death to make a commitment.
I don’t know if I believe in marriage. –E Divorce Papers
I think those last three quotes say it all. When we don’t take marriage seriously how then could our children take marriage seriously? If we don’t give an example of a great marriage how could we hope for our children to have a great marriage? If we prove to our children that divorce is a viable option to fix our problems how will they ever believe in the great gift of marriage?
As Christians, we have an obligation to take the words of Christ seriously. We are to follow Jesus’ teachings no matter the cost. We advocate for marriage all the time but do we live lives worthy of what we are advocating for? That is a question that we all need to ponder.
Stand for marriage and thanks for reading.
- Stand for Marriage (anotherchristianblog.org)